There is an art to being silent.
Beauty in knowing when to speak and when to be quiet.
Don’t we all know people who are talented in the quick come-backs and witty-responses or those that always have to have the last word?
Maybe that person is you.
I know I've suffered from "LWS" a/k/a last word syndrome!
LWS is a common condition in many marriages. Typically, it is seen in only one spouse; as you’d never get anything accomplished if you both spent all day trying to have the last word. One must concede for life to proceed.
What underlines this madness to have the last word?
The burning desire to always be right?
The pursuit to always win (no matter how trivial the circumstance)?
We use the excuse that it's our competitive nature, but truthfully the motivation is purely PRIDE.
Pride- the inordinate self-esteem.
The Bible does NOT applaud pride in any fashion. In fact, it cautions against it:
* Proverbs 11:2- When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
* Proverbs 14:3- A fool’s mouth lashes out with pride, but the lips of the wise protect them.
* Proverbs 16:18- Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.
There is wisdom in these words; as pride is not only destructive to your character, it grossly impacts the relationships around you.
Most disturbing is what pride does to your relationship with God!
In James 4:6 we learn that “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”
Let's not gloss over this - GOD OPPOSES the person with the prideful posture.
This statement is profound because when you oppose something that means you disapprove, attempt to prevent, actively resist and work against the subject of your opposition.
Meaning- God actively fights against the proud person.
(Don't know about you, but I sure don't want God as my enemy!)
When pride gets in the way, your opponent isn’t your spouse or another person—it is God!
I love this advice from Francis Chan:
"God has always loved humility. Always. And He generously pours out His grace on those who are humble. View your arguments with your spouse in this light. It doesn't matter what he/she said or what he/she did. The question is whether you want to experience God's opposition or His grace. Is it more important for you to be right? Or to do what's right?"
We need to remember that the one that wins the fight, has the last word or comeback or just has to say "I told you so" is NOT the one reflecting Christ.
God loves the humble. He delights in the one that can swallow their pride and say “I’m sorry," "I forgive you" or wisely remains silent.
So, the next time you find yourself allowing pride to swell-- ask yourself what is more important-- to be right or to do what is right?
The answer will determine whether God is for you or against you!
Father, thank you that your grace is sufficient. Grant us the ability to recognize pride in our lives in any situation that we may face. May we remember that silence is golden and pleasing in your sight. Help us, Lord, to overcome pride's grip and submit to your humble calling. Grant us the strength always to do what is right even when we don't feel like it or when others give contrary advice. Amen.
"For though the Lord is high, he regards the lowly, but the haughty he knows from afar." ~Psalm 138:6